


I'll take you as you are

by enablelove



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: 5+1 Things, Boys In Love, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Schmoop, Season/Series 05 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 01:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19121806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enablelove/pseuds/enablelove
Summary: A closer look into David’s anxiety as Patrick witnesses David’s first panic attack and not knowing how to help him through it. Then, Patrick learns over time what David needs. With each instance of panic, Patrick gets more confident in his abilities and provides constant support.





	I'll take you as you are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kt_rose28](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kt_rose28/gifts).



> I got prompted the summary (for the most part) + _I want soft, sweet, patient Patrick to be there for his unsure boyfriend (or I guess fiancé now?? omg!)_ and I instantly knew I wanted a 5 things fic. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing these beautiful boys. 
> 
> Thanks to my lovely brain twin R for giving this a looksie. 
> 
> Title from The Weeknd.

5: business partner

Patrick sleeps fitfully, tossing and turning because the one thing (of many) continuously making him restless about the store opening is knowing the lights in the store aren’t connected yet. He knows David has a lot on his plate and if it were probably anyone else, he would be so annoyed at having to remind them of a task, with David he doesn’t feel that niggling feeling. He sighs at himself as he lies in the semi-dark, swirls of pink and purple beginning to paint their way across the sky through the window. He gets up, unable to just let it go - a low churn rolling through his stomach at the thought of their opening day of Rose Apothecary tomorrow. 

Patrick changes out of his pajamas, grabs his keys, and leaves as quietly as possible so as not to wake Ray up. He makes the drive over to the general, but specific, store, smiling at the thought of what he and David have created. The town is still quiet in the early morning light and the air feels enchanting and full of possibility. 

Patrick is surprised to see a shadow in the store and he parks quickly, not sure what’s going on. He walks swiftly inside, a soft tinkling alerting his presence to the black sweater clad man. Relief rushes through him that it’s just David and not a thief – that is not a situation he wants to deal with. 

David looks ethereal in the golden glow, but Patrick pushes that thought into the recesses of his brain. Not the time. 

“What are you doing here?” Both David and Patrick say simultaneously and then both of them let out weak chuckles.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Patrick asks David, seeing David fold and refold the cat hair scarves. 

“I couldn’t stop thinking about the opening and imagining every worst case scenario. Like what if something catches fire, or there are a million people and we can’t keep an eye on our stock, or if there are zero people and this whole store is a stupid idiotic plan and my parents were right and I can’t do anything on my own and,” David gasps, words spilling out of his mouth. Patrick has seen David go on tirades before but this seems to be a whole new ballgame. He rushes over to his business partner, and puts a hand on his back, not quite sure what to do.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he whispers soothingly and feeling completely helpless. 

“It doesn’t matter what happens, because we’re going to face it together no matter what, okay?” Patrick murmurs that and soft shushing noises as David tries to catch his breath. David’s told him about his panic attacks and how they creep up on him in random moments. David clutches Patrick’s wrist and just holds it, trying to match Patrick’s breath and Patrick forces his breathing to slow down, even though he’s positive David can feel his pulse beating a staccato rhythm against his fingers. 

Eventually David calms down and Patrick needs to figure out tips and tricks to soothe the man, because seeing someone as usually confident as David almost breaking down has been a terrifying thing to see. He’s a take-charge guy, but he is powerless in this situation.

“Thanks,” David finally says, silence stretching over them, yet not awkward at all.

“I didn’t do anything,” Patrick says, hating how true that is. 

“You’re here and that’s enough,” David says in the softest voice Patrick has ever heard from him and all Patrick wants to do is kiss that half smirk. This isn’t even the first time he’s had that thought, but this definitely isn’t the time or place. Every ounce of confusion that had been swirling through Patrick is gone, and all that’s left is attraction and affection. Now to get David to date him. 

4: boyfriend

Patrick feels like he’s about to cry as he closes the door behind him and rests his head on the door, willing himself not to let any tears fall. He did that to David. He asked him to trust him, something that he knows from the past few months that is a brittle experience for him, and then he shattered the tentative faith. He takes a fortifying breath, willing himself to break down when he gets back to Ray’s, and goes to the table. Stevie is standing there with a plate ready for David, best friend that she is.

He sees Rachel awkwardly sitting there too, but he can’t deal with her yet. 

He should just tell Stevie to take it to him, sure that David doesn’t want to see him right now, but he’s a masochist through and through and needs to see David one last time. He hopes this isn’t the end of them because that would destroy him completely and that this is a bump in the road that just proves they should talk more. 

The thing is, Patrick hadn’t kept Rachel from David because he didn’t want to tell him – he was just so happy with David that he didn’t want to bring up a past that didn’t matter and tarnish the euphoria the past four months as David’s boyfriend. 

“I’ll take it,” Patrick tells Stevie, and his voice sounds wrecked even to his own ears. She raises an eyebrow at him.

“You have 2 minutes, then I’m coming in there. He needs time, okay? I believe you and I know your relationship will make it, but not right now.”

David is seriously lucky to have her. He nods at her, takes the plate, and turns back around to go to the room.

“Patrick,” Rachel calls out to him and Patrick stills. He doesn’t want to hurt Rachel anymore than he has, but he can only think of David right now.

“Give me a few minutes and we can talk,” he says, not even making eye contact with her and continues towards David and Alexis’ room. He knocks and opens the door and sees David on the floor, knees to his chest and back against the bed.

Patrick quickly puts the plate on the bed and kneels down next to David. He can see trembles wracking his body and his knuckles white as he clenches them around his knees. His face is buried in his chest and his breath shudders. Patrick feels like the heel of someone’s shoe. His heart aches for the man in front of him and the worst part is that he knows he’s the cause of this.

“Oh god, David, I’m so sorry,” Patrick says, scooting close and voice pitched in a whisper. He’s been reading up on panic attacks and anxiety, and loud noises are a definite no-no. He grabs David’s wrist, so reminiscent of the night before Rose Apothecary opened, and tries to slow his breathing to help David match his breath. 

David uses his other hand to point backwards to the bedside table and Patrick sees a small vial there. He gets up and picks up the glass bottle, reading the Rose Apothecary label, which makes his heart clench, and the swirly text beneath it that reads _lavender oil_. 

He hands it to David who is starting to inhale deeply through his nose and harshly through his mouth. David shakily uncaps the vial and takes a whiff of the calming oil, letting it wash over him. Patrick can only stand there, feeling oh so very incompetent in this moment. His boyfriend (hopefully) is struggling and the cause is Patrick. 

David eventually manages to catch his breath and it evens out, the shakes gone. He raises his head to look at Patrick with red-rimmed eyes and Patrick wants to go over and pull him into his arms and never let go. He doesn’t have that right, though. Not right now.

“I’m so sorry, David,” Patrick says again, shame coursing through him. David just blinks at him once and then looks away, a high flush on his cheeks and the tips of his ears reddening in the way that Patrick knows is from embarrassment, like he’s uncomfortable at being caught out like this.

“Your plate’s on the bed, can I do anything else?” Patrick asks, not wanting to leave, but knowing that he’s not really welcome right now. David shakes his head, not making eye contact again and Patrick can’t fault him. 

“I’ll see you soon,” Patrick murmurs and grabs David’s hand to press a kiss against his ringed fingers, unable to help one last touch before he gives David a little break to process. He closes the door gently behind him again and squares his shoulders before walking towards Rachel.

After this, no more secrets, dumb or not. 

3: the man he loves

Patrick hears soft footfalls at the foot of his bed and he stretches, eyes blearily blinking open. He sees David pacing back and forth across the room, hands randomly pulling at his hair. It would be an adorable sight to see the always perfectly groomed David Rose in disarray, but he looks tense and Patrick doesn’t like seeing the man he loves (!!) in such a state.

“David?” he asks, voice raspy from sleep and from last night’s activities. David stills and looks over.

Patrick is almost 100% sure David is stuck in his head, spiraling, and he’s not sure how to stop it. 

“Babe, you okay?” Patrick asks. David closes his eyes and takes a steadying breath at that. Patrick makes a mental note that pet names seem to have a positive effect in these instances. 

“Mmhmm, yes.” David says, completely unconvincingly. Patrick holds out his hand and David bites his lip before holding it. Patrick gently yanks David around and onto his lap.

“What’s going on?” Patrick asks, pressing a soft kiss to David’s neck. David seems to melt a little more into Patrick and he makes another mental note. He’s shaking a little though and Patrick holds him closer, trying to be strong for him.

“Just over thinking as usual. No regrets right?” David asks him, voice weirdly flat and not making any eye contact.

“What? No, of course not,” Patrick hurriedly assures him and pulls him into a kiss, hands twining into the already messy hair. David’s breath is still shaky though, not controlled as usual and Patrick does the best he can to just be there through his mini breakdown. David closes his eyes and taps his fingers on Patrick’s shoulder. Patrick isn’t sure what he’s doing at first, but then notices a pattern – he counted to five first, then counted down. 

It seems to be doing the trick, though, as his breath seems regulated and the small tremors have stopped. David opens his eyes and Patrick’s breath catches, as always, at how much emotion there seems to be in each minute expression of David’s face. 

“I love you,” he whispers and Patrick wishes he had an eidetic memory to capture the joy emanating from David in this moment. He’ll just have to keep repeating the words over and over again, more than happy to know that they aren’t being locked away in his heart. 

2: love of his life 

Patrick knocks on the motel room door after the non-date with Ken and sees David peering back at him.

“Do I want to hear about it?” He asks, but he has a half smile on his face and Patrick can’t help but feel relief at seeing David. The only person he wants to date. 

David pulls him into a kiss and Patrick pulls him as close as possible, not even caring that Alexis is also into the motel room, hands coming around David’s back. He pulls back to explain the weird thing about Ken’s shoes, which is only a minute detail. 

The main reason he couldn’t do it was because Ken isn’t David. Ken isn’t as tall as David. As cute as David. Doesn’t have as fantastic hair as David. Doesn’t only wear monochrome with an effervescent rainbow personality like David. 

Ken just isn’t the love of his life like David is. The thought hits him out of nowhere but he basks in the warm glow it brings him because it’s completely accurate. David Rose is the love of Patrick Brewer’s life. 

David pulls him into another hug, and just holds him tight.

“Okay, this is a really long hug now,” Patrick says, trying to lighten the mood because he can feel the slight tremors going through David. Patrick feels a little sick to think of David worried about him and their relationship, even if it is David’s fault in the first place. It was a joke earlier in the store; he’d never planned on using Ken’s number. It was empowering to be hit on, but David was more than enough to handle and all Patrick really wanted to handle to be perfectly honest. 

“Just one more minute,” David responds, breath slowly whooshing out of him. Patrick holds him tighter, hand coming to scratch at the nape of David’s neck like he knows David likes and pressing a soft kiss to David’s neck. The breathing is coming easier and the tenseness has all but left David at this point. Patrick knows David was on the verge of spiraling and he’s glad he came back in time to not have it devolve.

“Hey, baby, we’re good,” Patrick pitches lowly, mindful of Alexis this time. David nods and melts into him, the last of the strain from his body leaving. He’s getting better at bringing David back, but he knows he’s not perfect yet – still learning what works best. 

“Come home with me,” Patrick whispers and David just nods again, pulling back for a chaste kiss before turning to grab his overnight bag. Patrick looks over at Alexis and she waves and blinks at him (Patrick thinks she is trying to wink but hasn’t mastered that yet). Patrick grabs David’s hand as he comes back towards the door and they both say bye to Alexis.

“I told you David,” Alexis says brightly, lording something over him. 

“Go play in traffic, Alexis,” David responds, not even looking at her and walking out the door. Patrick looks back over his shoulder at her and waves with a shrug. He is never going to understand those two, but he has the rest of his life to try and learn. 

1: fiancé 

Moira Rose is crawling into a closet with a wail, the party is broken up, and David looks upset. The night is definitely not going how they had imagined.

After the closing of the curtain, Patrick felt accomplished, emboldened, on top of the world. He was engaged to the most gorgeous man and had faced his fears and been a lead in a complex play. David seemed quite proud of him too, if the thorough kiss and light debauchery that happened on the way from the theatre back to the motel was any indication. 

But right now, all he can see is David’s face falling as a crippling announcement comes from Mrs. Rose instead of the exhilarating one from David. Patrick knows that even though David had grand plans for how the announcement would go from what he mentioned this morning in bed, it wouldn’t be that smooth. But nobody expected a complete turn of events. 

Mr. Rose is ushering everyone out and David sits on his motel room bed, head in his hands and shaking. Patrick kneels next to him, not sure what’s going through David right now. It’s not like he doesn’t care about them sharing their happy news, but he knows David was looking forward to it more than him. At the end of the day if he gets to marry his fiancé (he loves how that sounds even in his head), he’s more than happy.

“David?” Patrick asks him quietly. David looks up with some effort and he’s a bit taken aback at the anger in his expression.

“I just wanted one thing,” David says in a shaky voice. “Just one thing to be mine, but she can’t even let me have that.”

Patrick knows that David is upset for his mom, because he truly is a genuinely _good_ person, but he also knows how much David wanted this moment for them. He stands to sit next to David on the bed and puts an arm around him. David takes deep calming breaths as he lays his head on Patrick’s shoulder and Patrick rubs his hand up and down David’s arm. He uses his other hand to hold David’s wrist, tapping his fingers in a countdown from 5, like David had done so many months earlier. 

It’s useless to try and placate him right now and the only thing Patrick can do is be there to support his fiancé. 

“Hey, fiancé?” Patrick asks and David curls in his head and Patrick can almost see the joyful grin he’s been seeing since yesterday - a beautiful expression that had been so rare in the early days. David’s face openly happy is one of the most gorgeous things Patrick has ever seen. The shakes have receded a little and Patrick gives himself a mental pat on the back. 

“Yes, fiancé?” David replies, not turning to look at him, but that’s okay because Patrick can hear the smile in his voice as sappy as that sounds. 

“Tell me about our wedding?” Patrick questions. David gets up and holds his hand out for Patrick. He’s confused for a moment, but of course gives his hand to David, never one to deny his fiancé anything. David pushes him onto the small motel bed and then lies next to him, one leg over Patrick’s legs and head resting on Patrick’s chest. He knows that David is trying to match their breathing and the anxiousness is almost gone.

Patrick’s hand goes to David’s back, lightly tracing nonsensical patterns on the incredibly soft black sweater. David’s hands reach for Patrick’s other hand and he plays with Patrick’s fingers. Patrick loves the feel of the gold rings against them, a sign of what they are for everyone. 

David starts talking about patterns and classy colors, possible venues and a menu, but Patrick tunes him out because the cadence of his voice is back to normal now and he could listen to the deep beautiful voice forever. And he gets to. How lucky is he?

+1: husband

Patrick rolls over in bed and meets no resistance on his side, eyes opening to see an empty spot, still warm. His eyebrows furrow as he wonders where his husband is. Husband. It’s only been two weeks since the wedding, and the term still brings a smile to his face. He’s sure he looks lovesick and Stevie would totally make fun of him.

He gets out of bed to find his wayward husband and sees David sitting on the sofa, knees to his chest and forehead resting on them. Patrick sits with his back to the arm of the sofa, easing David between his legs. David, for his part, is malleable, even if he is shaking a little bit and his breathing seems worryingly shallow. David rests his head at the crook of Patrick’s neck and Patrick rubs a hand up and down David’s back. 

He counts backwards from ten aloud, matching the hand on David’s back, ten counts up, nine counts down, and so on. Once he gets to one, David’s breathing has eased up a bit and Patrick is proud of knowing how to deal with his husband’s disquietude by this point.

“What’s up, babe?” Patrick asks gently, kissing the top of David’s head and getting a whiff of that expensive shampoo. 

There’s a pause, like David doesn’t want to tell him, and Patrick can only imagine the squinted eyes and lip biting.

“I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me, David,” Patrick reminds him and David huffs against his neck, tickling it a little. He moves his head and adjusts them so their legs are along the length of the sofa and David’s head is on Patrick’s chest, hand coming up to play with the little tear in his sleep shirt. 

“I’m just worried about this weekend,” David finally admits.

“The reunion?” Patrick asks, not altogether surprised.

“I’m not the best with first impressions,” David tells him and Patrick can hear the worry in his voice.

“What? You? You totally made a fantastic first impression on me. Look where we ended up!” Patrick teases and David looks up to give him a glare. Patrick just winks at him and David rolls his eyes.

“So I’m going to end up with a new husband by the end of the weekend?” David asks, settling back down. Patrick not even meaning to, tightens his hold around David at the thought.

“You better not.”

“But they’d all be buttons and adorable, just my type clearly.”

“I’d like to think I’m enough.”

Patrick can feel the grin on David’s face and smiles at the soft kiss David presses to his chest.

“You can calm down, Mr. Caveman, you’re totally more than enough.”

The lingering tension seems to release from David at the familiar ribbing.

“So what’s got you worried about meeting all of my family?” Patrick asks him, knowing that large crowds aren’t necessarily David’s forte. 

There’s another pause, and Patrick continues sweeping his hand down David’s back so David can collect his thoughts.

“What if they don’t like me?” David starts in a small voice. “What if they think you made a mistake marrying me? I know I’m a hot mess, and I’m extra, and” 

“You’re my hot mess and you’re extra fabulous and if they can’t see that, then it’s their loss. But I’d like to think they have a little more sense. And I fell in love with you because you’re unapologetically you and it’s honestly the sexiest thing in the world,” Patrick tells him in a firm voice, no room for ambiguity.

“You’re pretty good at these pep talks, Mr. Rose.” David says, kissing Patrick’s chest.

“I’m just glad I could help, Mr. Brewer,” Patrick tells him honestly, kissing the top of his head and relaxing into the sofa, pulling David snugly into his arms and closing his eyes. 

Yeah, he’s got this.


End file.
